((jexa))
You said what I imagine my T would say, what she HAS said to me when I told her I don't know how to do this recovery thing. She says, you are doing it. This is how you do it. You're doing it!

I just took a hot bath and felt pretty miserable getting in there but I laid there and followed my breath and told myself over and over I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I relaxed my face and my hands and let the feeling of being ok wash over me.

I naturally distrust myself, dislike myself and think of myself as a selfish and bad person. I'm trying to change that. When I take a moment to check in with me, like I just did in the bath, I feel deep down inside that my goal is just to get better. I'm not trying to hurt anyone and I'm not taking away from anyone else's happiness if I find some peace for myself. Maybe I'm not such a horrible person after all.