All this is making me think of my own mortality and that of the people I know and love.

I'm afraid of death.

I have to do something when I feel better to remember Hammie.

I think I'm going to make appointments to get a check-up for myself. I don't want to die.

I'm so easily triggered right now...it's horrible.

I still have to bury Hammie tomorrow. My Mom and I made him a cardboard coffin. I lined it with the toilet paper bedding he loved so much and put a couple of blocks of his food in there with him. I sprinkled some hamster seeds in there too.

I'm so sad. I miss the little guy.