sannah, yes I'm not disagreeing about self loathing and healthy self love...I was just adding what healthy self love can mean apart from body image...we can look good for our partners but what if we're complete *****es in temper toward them?...not saying anyone here is.....but its not that simple to say if we look good we,ve got a healthy self love...it could be the complete oppersite....I'm happiest sitting watching a film with hubby in me pj's and him in hIs shorts and t shirt....