Quick update -- this T never got back to me. So, forget her. Oh well.

My T gave me a list of names on Friday -- I called or emailed all of them, ten in total. Most of them didn't work -- a couple weren't taking clients -- some were really awkward on the phone -- only ONE could do the rate I was asking, and she made me feel really uncomfortable on the phone and didn't "sound" competent.

But I think I MIGHT have found one -- depends on whether schedules match -- I originally told her I couldn't see her because she said she would have to charge $75/session, but I guess I could do three weeks on, one week off, and find a way to afford that. I emailed her to ask if this might work, and I'm waiting on her response. It's just that she was really nice on the phone. She ended up making me bawl my eyes out on my lunch break yesterday because she was so nice and saying things like, "I've been where you are -- I know this is really hard -- having anxiety makes this whole process so difficult." Anyway, it's pretty unusual for me to cry with people around (I've only cried once or twice in therapy), so it's a good indicator I guess, even though it sucked to come back to work with a red nose and puffy eyes.

I can't believe I have to find a new T I can't believe this is happening.