I thought I was prepared for Hammie's death. I know hamster live only 2 to at most 3 years. I knew Hammie's time was up.

I just never expected the pain to be so great. 2 years and 7 months with the little guy. He was my first and only pet. So many times I was overcome with depression and I would just hold him and he would make me feel better. Now he's gone. At least he is not suffering. I worried that he might be suffering. He seemed pretty active right up to a week before today. I think he died peacefully in his sleep.

I don't know how to handle this. I think I have to distract myself. The tears start flowing and they cannot stop when I'm triggered. I have to let time lessen my grief.

I want to be able to remember Hammie and feel happy about his life. Right now I just start crying when I think of Hammie. When will I be able to remember Hammie and not cry?