I'm sorry you've not felt worthy of what you see as "good things" in your life. I carry that with me as well.

thank you for this thread..... it's very deep in my heart.

Once again though, I'm the odd girl out....

I've never had a weight problem.... not because I have an eating disorder, not because I have too much self-love(narcissism)... but because I worry incessantly over what others think of me and if I will be judged/or of worth. I so want to be accepted but it never seems to be enough-- what ever I give. (favors, ever listening and rarely talking, staying thin to be pleasing to the eye like people say movie stars and models are)

I think when I die the headstone will read--- she worried and worried what others thought of her and thus forgot to live.

I've been told so so many times by other women-- "I hate you, you don't have a weight problem" or... "You make me sick, you're so lucky to have a nice figure"..... ugh.... even when I try to look the way everyone wants -- like models-- I'm still hated...

I worry so much what others think.... that's why I'm finding it's better to be isolated ... being alone without any girlfriends --I don't have to hear "I hate you" or " You make me sick".... I never ever want to make anyone feel bad. I've only ever wanted to be a friend, no physical judging involved. I don't like being judged.... women can be so cruel to each other...... *sigh*.......

so, you see Sannah, there are many views to this situation.... though I'm sure mine is a minority.

fins ps... forgot to say... the T. I see is in great shape, I just thought, maybe that is why she seems less threatening to me.....I don't have to fear of hurting her feelings or making her hate me..... hmmmmmm....