tryingtobe - It isn't your fault that your friend is ill, and you are not responsible for his or her well-being, but YES, I know exactly what you mean. I frequently suffer from feeling bad because I "should" do more for someone. It's taken me many years to recognize what I am doing to myself, and sometimes I still can't stop. It is often a question of expectations. Does this person expect you to do things for them or help them? Or are you making those expectations in your own mind? Even the person expects you to do something, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to - remember that you have to take care of yourself first and foremost and don't beat yourself up when you can't be Superwoman/man!