Dear Zen:
I would like to thank you for your comments pertaining to my story. I think you that you are right on target. I do admit that I keep beating up myself on something I have no control of and cannot change. I keep hoping that this man is going to change and become the man of my dreams. But I have realized that is just what I want not what he wants. I have not taken the time to really get to know one person, and that is me. Right now I am in deep pain and feel very depressed. The days seem long and lonely without him. I keep myself busy by working long hours and interacting with other people. I talked to other people all day but no one knows about my personal crisis. I do not like to burden acquaintances with my personal problems. I am taking this time away from him to do a lot of soul searching. I have been in this superficial relationship for so long, that I lost my soul and self esteem in it. I desperately need to find that happy person in me. When does the pain really end? When do I see the light at the other end? If anyone out there have any suggestions, please let me know. Dulce