Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram
when i am angry i usually know why i feel that way. a way of coping with anger for me is to try to channel it into something positive...meaning not just letting it rip cause doing that for me is not accomplishing anything healthy in my life. anger is a secondary emotion that is usually fear based, a primary emotion. so i try to look at why i feel that way and think about constructive ways to express myself.
also if someone triggers anger in me i try to ask myself, how important is this? usually it's not that important in the big scheme of things and i can let it go. i do find that ppl are my biggest trigger for anger. don't want to avoid ppl so i have learned some ways to set boundaries in relationships. that works for me.
why do you feel hurt and abandoned?
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I must say you ROCK! I have learned most of that through CBT...you're on the right track. Since I have a double diagnosis (bipolar and borderline) I struggle with anger ALOT. You are right when you said that anger stems from fear - the underlying emotion, however, I find that when I sit down and take a "time out" to assess my emotional state - why am I mad, is it worth being this mad etc. I find that when I get hurt I get very angry which ties right into fear - the fear of not being hurt again. When I'm mad, I will just go for a walk of jog....but if I had a punching bag, man that really eliminates it for me. Probably not a great choice though. Quiet music I find can help...depends how angry you are. Great job and thanks for listening
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