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Today was the worst. I went shopping with my sister, we walked around a small store once and I was in so much pain from my RA. I could barely walk, sitting if I had to get up fairly soon was out of the question. So I had to stand and walk on my heated, red, swollen knees. I fell when I got home, hit my knees (of course). I layed on the bed thinking how life would be if my RA meds don't help. I cried, I was still in pain...but also because that picture of life was very grim and limited. I don't want that, even though I didn't get actively suicidal, I got passively so. If ___ happened and I died, I wouldn't care. =/ My ankles, wrists, shoulders, fingers, toes were swollen, my back and neck hurt. You know the dr's scale 1-10 with 10 being the worst? I was 9.75 tonight, I hurt so bad I thought I might die from the pain itself. =O I've decide to try it, it can't make it worse, and a chance that it will help, makes my decision. I will be getting some tomorrow (X wasn't home tonight) and trying it.

I thank everyone again for your views and posts. I just wanted you to understand where I was coming from on this.
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