I feel for you right now. I went through similar issues with my aunt a few years ago. The "older" generation have real difficulties going to the doctors or calling the doctor about their health problems. This comes from being raised during the depression and lean years after the depression. Money was extremely tight and you didn't go to the doctor unless it was life threatening.

I had quite a fight on my hands about getting my aunt to go for a physical. Her regular doctor had passed on a number of years earlier and according to my aunt, all the files were lost so she had nothing to go to another doctor with (heck of an excuse LOL). It took me months and months to get her to go because she had a bad case of bronchitis and breathing problems.

Aunty also had some hallucinations that got quite a bit worse as time went on. For my aunt it definitely was a combination of dementia and meds. She used to think she could hear the neighbors music playing all night long. She heard the drums most of all she said (wondered if she was hearing her heart beating in her ears???). She used to ask me in the middle of the night if I could hear it too? Of course, it was quiet, no music playing and the neighbors house was pitch black.

Aunty used to stand at the bathroom window and watch the planes landing and taking off from a nearby airport. She also watched for what she called "hoodlums" who would be climbing the metal fence surrounding a distribution plant across the street from her. The area was well lit, they had guard dogs there and no one was getting over the fence and surviving without making a lot of noise and being in a lot of hurt LOL. She swore she used to see them jumping the fence back and forth all the time. Believe me, it wasn't happening.

When she finally had to go to a nursing home (she refused to let me get help for her to be safe in her home), it didn't take long until her dementia worsened and she claimed that the nursing home had bugged all the rooms and could listen in on her conversations. She also believed that when she didn't finish her lunch plate that it was taken away and given back to her to finish at supper. Of course, that was not true either.

It's such a difficult situation when the parents won't let the children be involved with their healthcare or let them know their health status. It can be so frustrating. Sometimes I think they themselves don't want to know so if they can keep it secret, then they don't have to talk about it and it doesn't exist.

I don't know where you live, but I believe that most states have a department concerning the elderly, their care and if they are being abused. That may be the place to start in looking for information and services available. You don't have to have permission from your parents to talk to the services to research what's available.

I wish you well!


sabby