I was so very angry until I dealt with the thing that made me the angriest. All my anger stemmed from 3 things.
1: Sexual abuse
2: Doctor saying in front of me "Don't ever talk about it she will forget it, you don't need the trouble"
3: My parents not ever talking about it and that made me feel like I was the bad one
I didn't deal with this until I was 34 and boy was I an angry person.
There is no need to forgive what happened I never will, those men I will confront soon if I have my way and I will tell them what their actions did to me and how badly internally injured I was. Still births and miscarriages because of the fibrose scar tissue they left me with which drew my uterus so taught and twisted I was lucky to have chidlren at all.
I didn't deal with this until I was 34 and boy was I an angry person. It was too late to talk to my dad about it because he had passed away. But I know that he set fire to their "shed" while they were in it. They went to the police, the man who happened to be my "Terra Pater" (pagan God Father) (I was born under the Goddesses Luna Aurora)
He came to our door and dad stepped outside, mum looked worried and was wringing her hands. Dad came back in and said to mum "no troube alls well". Mum looked at me and turned away, off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I don't know and I only surmise, that dad said "yes by all means arrest me, but the whole story comes out and they get charged and the story goes in the paper"; they wouldn't want that because they were the sons of local council members.
But mum, when I finally told her that I remembered everything she looked stunned then went stony faced. I asked her if she was going to say anything? She said no. I said what about what this did to me? She said "What about me?". I haven't spoken a word of it since. What is the point?
It's no wonder we get angry and it's even less of a wonder why we get so emotionally sick
__________________
Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
|