Greetings,
I have read quite a few of your posts and you seem very disturbed, on an ongoing basis. Such disturbance truly needs professional treatment. We, of course, we offer the most positive support we can give you, though, are you doing everything you can, on your part, to truly help youself overcome such darkness?
Again, I hope you can find a solution to your woes. In the meantime, try to stay positive, alright?
Have a good one.