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I was so angry. I can’t really get into details at the moment because I’m at work right now, but the anger was boiling over.
I just stayed quiet most of the session, but then the other woman (the one I’m angry with) addressed me. Then, she was cocky towards me (which she has been towards others in the group as well) – and that was it. I said something, she got nasty back – and then we were just yelling at each other. It was like a switch went off inside me and I lost all control. No name calling or anything like that. I was pointing out how she seems to be refusing to take any ownership for her part in anything – that I was sharing something of real importance to me in group last week which I rarely do – and then it became the “(her name) show”.
One other group member told me he was disappointed in me and that although he agreed with some of what I said, I was way too harsh. He then started coddling the other woman. I became angry with him and said something like “now comes the arse kissing”. I was so ticked. She started to cry – and I had no empathy whatsoever towards her. I don’t know what came over me. I pretty much stayed silent after that.
When I got home, I emailed T to cancel my individual session with him for tomorrow. Perhaps that’s copping out, but I have no interest in seeing him, talking to him, or seeing anyone in that group at the moment. I walked out of group feeling like I wanted to drop out, so she can have the group all to herself. I just feel so sick and angry about it all right now.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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