T IS really caring and supportive. I guess I'm wondering, can therapy JUST be support? No processing, just being, resting, being cared for. I don't know. It feels like therapy has become quieter and quieter and more and more still lately. Like the next step is just going there and taking a nap. THAT kind of quiet and still.

T left me a really nice message yesterday. I know he gets where I'm at - he made that really really clear. I love that he did that, because I know he knows that if he really understands what's going on with me, that helps a little in itself. I like that he knows me so well.

He gave me some "directives", which he never does, but which I said I needed. To allow myself to sleep, to be gentle with myself, to really really know that however I am is truly "good enough".

I am supposed to see him tomorrow (but i feel like I'm getting sick, so we'll see). Some October stuff is starting to push at me to be told. The though of going there is....ugh. But the thought of NOT going there and struggling for the rest of my life is even worse.

ugh. help.