Haven't managed to read the whole thread yet, but it's a very interesting topic. From a very young age I remember having a very negative image of myself - I have memories of praying at the age of 5 to make me look like my skinny friend. Thereafter for a long time I tried to distance myself from my body - who I was inside wasn't who I was outside. It breaks my heart now to look at photos of me as a child and realise there was nothing wrong with me - a little chubby perhaps but no more than that. I think it does come from how you value yourself - I lost quite a lot of weight in my 20s and yet still didn't believe I was good enough, or that just because I wore a size 4/6 didn't mean that I looked as good as others who were that size.

I have gained a lot over the last few years, and certainly in the depths of depression I considered it to be "self-harm by stealth" - that because I have people who care about me, I couldn't just bow out, but hey, if I happened to have a heart attack, that would be fine. This year has been better for me and I have started to lose some weight and become more active again. I think that has only happened because I have begun to accept myself and care what happens to me again, and have a little germ of excitement about what the future holds. I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking that I can only start living when I am at a certain weight, but yes, I do believe I deserve to look better and feel better.