I don't know; it sounds like you have your issues just as he has his but that you are making yours worse by taking on his, as if they were yours. Yes he's your husband but his personal problems are not yours; do you have trouble with your anorexia because there are starving children in the world? It's not a whole lot different, perhaps just harder to learn to stay in our own head and out of other people's; you can't imagine what he is struggling with anymore than he can imagine/understand your anorexia fully.

Are you all in couple's counseling? I would try that and see if I could make it work, in addition to getting personal counseling for myself. My second choice would be my own counseling, alone, to work on "my" problems. I think we do a personal number on ourselves by "ranking" problems; sex and money seem more intense to us than other problems, even if they're not that different otherwise. Your anorexia can kill you but his porn may/may not end the relationship but is not going to kill him. I would be alarmed at my own reactions and try to work on them than what my husband was doing/dealing with? Good luck to you both.