I am so tired of being here. I do nothing everyday. I spend most of my time just sitting here caught up in my head and my thoughts. Stressing out, worrying, ruminating. There is not much else to do way out here in the middle of nowhere.

I went to Atlanta to my aunts last weekend and got messed up in some stuff I probably shouldn't have. When I came back here to my dads this guy followed me and hasn't left since. He's a nice guy but I am tired of the shadow and not being able to spend anytime on here or doing any of the things I am used to doing alone. Plus my camper is so small with me and my dog I already am claustrophobic in it... He was waiting on a job in my town is why he came, finally today he went to work. Hope he will go back to Atlanta soon, I need a break.

I miss Fl and my life there. Miss my Tdoc and feeling like I was kind of a part of the world. That is odd to me and very confusing. I am losing who I am more each day, i feel like just a hollow shell, useless and worthless.

I am sorry I havent been keeping up, or responding, or offering any support. I am just finding it very difficult to have the energy for that right now. Most of the time havent even had much will to post... I am grateful for those of you who have been offering your support and wish some peace for all today...