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My mom and I have always had an on and off relationship. The truth is that she is all I really have parent wise but we're more off than on. I love her dearly but here lately I've been really hurt by her. She is very manipulative, controling, needy, dependent, and has mood swings like no other.
My boyfriend and I are currently talking about marriage. I know it's just talk and there is no ring yet and so I shouldn't be all excited but i am. And all I ask for is my mom to be okay. She doesn't have to be throwing confetti but I'd at least like her to be okay. She isn't. Instead of being happy for me or decent about it she is putting me down and making me feel bad.
For most of my life I've taken care of her. I've been the one that made sure she didn't sit at home lonely. Or I've gone out to eat with her so she didn't have to eat alone when I could have been with friends. When I was a teen I didn't go to the movies with friends, go to sleep overs, or on dates so that I could be with her. I've always been the one she has put down to make herself feel better. And now I need my mom to be decent with me when it comes to my talking of marriage. Like I said there is no ring yet but all I ask is that she be decent and stop putting me down. I don't think I'm asking that much. I've done so much for her and now when I need something from her I don't get it. I know she's afraid of being alone and that once I get married she will be alone to a degree but don't I deserve to be happy too. I've talked to her about this countless times and it goes in one ear and straight out the other. I've talked to her about this until I'm blue in the face and to be honest I think I'd get more of a response from a wall.
My question is, how do I deal with this? How do I deal with my mom being the way she is? She's always been this way but now she's getting worse. It's like the closer I come to moving on with my life the worse she gets. What do I do when talking to her doesn't seem to help or really matter?
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