Of all things, my 19 year old son (home from college for the summer) told me last month that I was "not a good mother" and intimated that he was chosing girls beneath him because of how he'd been brought up. Of course, that upset me, especially since I had decided a long time ago that I would not commit suicide because of the negative effects it would have on my children!

He apologized almost immediately afterwards, I do have to say, but it still really hurt. I told him that I had done the best I could, had been in therapy for years, etc. (I'm bipolar with fibromyalgia and other physical health problems.)

I think we need to remember that most all kids, at least in their teens and twenties, want to blame their parents for all sorts of what they see as bad about their lives. I know I did--and truthfully rightly so, but we need to take responsibility for our own failings at some point and get to work on them.

I'm now reading Laura Schlessinger's book "Bad Childhood Good Life." In it she encourages adults to give up their "poor me" mentality.....I'm not going to give it to my son yet, while he's still mad, but I hope one day he'll see it lying around and pick it up.

Yes, some kids are better off without their messed-up parents, but I think most of us, even with mental problems, do the best we can and are loved and needed!