So a couple of issues here. First, did T breach confidentiality by asking his wife for your email? Second, is there a potential dual relationship here that could cause a problem? Lastly, is T providing a level of care that you need or want?

If yes to question 1 than I think question 2 can be answered affirmatively and he should refer you to another therapist. If no to question 1, question 2 should still be discussed with T to make sure that it does not cause a problem in the future.

Regarding the last issue, I think only you can decide that. Therapists need vacations and will sometimes have to cancel an appointment unexpectedly. My personal opinion - I think 3 or 4 times a year for the cancellations is reasonable, but beyond that I would be concerned. Again, it could be a discussion you have with therapist....is this typical for him, or an unsual occurrence.