Hi everyone,

I'm a new member (just posted my hello in the newbie section a few days ago) and I have a question: are any of you in a long distance relationship? If so, what are your experiences?

I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly two years (we've been friends for four). My fiance is from Germany and I'm in the midwest USA. He is dealing with depression and, although he knows he needs to see a doctor, he's struggling with a perceived stigma that he believes will go along with finally taking that step. Instead, he "caves," sometimes for several weeks at a time which is so frustrating/worrying for me because, with us being 4500 miles apart, there's not much I can do other than wait it out. Thankfully, he does resurface eventually. We talk it out, generally with him walking on self induced egg shells because he's so worried that I'll get sick of the dark days and walk away.

Do any of you who have that experience - I don't know what you call it... caving, shutting people out, hiding - ever feel that way? Is there anything I can do to help him understand that I'm committed to him even when he's feeling weak? And what can I do to help myself keep from getting pulled under when I miss him during his caving phases?

I'm hoping to hear about others' experiences - perhaps some suggestions and/or ideas for coping tools in LDRs when one of you is suffering from depression, too.