Just a rant, but any advice on how to cope, or to make sense of what it is, will really help.

I'm BP II, mainly dealing with depression. Approx every 2 weeks I get totally floored with depression. I am on the verge of tears (Often actually losing it and breaking down) and feel a real lump of emotions in my chest. I keep questioning my purpose, and feel that if this is life, I don't want to be a part of it. I'm basically useless during these times, and contact all my close friends for some form of support, and usually sms my T too.
Then, almost as quickly as it arrived, it vanishes...???

Then there's anger and stress. I cannot handle stress and freak out. I nearly start shaking, and lash out at anyone around me. I tend to wear this mask of being a real hard-core bit$h, when on the inside I'm really battling and am a softy. I know I should walk away from the stress and come back once I'm in a better frame of mind, but for some reason I don't.
Anger - I do not know how to project it. I fly off the handle, say things I shouldn't hurt, upset and anger other people and generally act unappropriately. But I call a spade a spade, and try to deal with the issues as they arrise (As opposed to bottling them up) but it's hardly the way one should behave in the corporate world. And if it's at my boyfriend, all I achieve is to have an angry boyfriend, who then directs his anger at my, and we enter a horrible cycle.

I just want to be happy. I don't want to be overwhelmed with negative emotions; most of which I don't even know how to name. And the result of my emotions and actions are that I become very lonely, as I really don't attract people to me.
Gee, I can hate myself when I re-read the way that I am (As above)...