Rhiannonsmoon you seem to be an amazingly strong and forgiving person. I feel like such a "fraud" complaining about the issues I am having with my daughter although I can see a future similar to yours with her. I feel for you I really really do but taking your life is not the answer. I lost my sister to suicide 3 years ago and the devastation and hurt she left behind still makes me angry. I have contemplated suicide many many many times and tried (although think it was more an attention thing) on a number of occassions but I cannot even begin to imagine how bad something must be to actually pull the trigger like she did.

I saw a medium after her death and she said no matter how we die we all go to heaven and that this is actually hell and I am inclined to believe her. Especially after reading what other people have gone through in life.

I have only been a member for 2 days but can see you contribute a lot to this forum. I really wish there was a way to ease your pain. Hugs