((((((((onward2wards & black moon))))))))

Thank you both so much for reading my thread. I have never been able to give up. When I died, I did so for a long time and I came back changed irrevocably. We don't actually all go to heaven though we all have that opportunity. There is no judgement made on us, except that which we make on ourselves.

The one thing that stayed with me was the peace I felt when I was there, and unfortunately it is that peace that calls me. I was told what I had to do, a work if you like, and I accepted that without reservation. I promised I wouldn't end my life early. I don't judge others for taking their lives but I won't do it, and that is what is so hard at times, I know I can't do that.

I can never turn my back on that boy and I will be here as long as I can in case he turns around and wants my love and my help. I know how life is hard for him because I know his mother. And he is battling with abandonment and rejection from everyone in his life. Not from me. At one point a couple of years ago he tried to make me promise not to die until he was 44. I told him I'd try not to but I couldn't promise that. I felt him pull away ever so slightly because I have never broken a promise to him this far and maybe he started to pull away so that when I go he didn't hurt so much, I don't know.

But thanks again for reading and in a sense listening, I appreciate it,

Hugs,

Rhiannon