((((( invisigirl )))))

sounds like you could really use a good T to help you get through the scary times as well as the screaming times. Let me tell you what I have found for me. It may or may not help you. I will let you decide.

I used to yell a LOT at my daughter, especially the first 10 years of her life. I would see her face crumple, and yet I couldn't stop the tirade. I found it was affecting her big time, so I had to consciously stop myself when I would find myself ramping up again, and go to my room, shut the door, and calm down. It wasn't really anything she did that caused the tirades, and so therefore she shouldn't have been the scapegoat of my screaming fits. What I learned to do is begin to tell her, "mommy is sick. it has nothing to do with you, it is something inside mommy that hurts right now. I am sorry I hurt you by yelling at you. Will you please forgive me?" At first it was foreign to her, as well as to me. But as we began to use that as a way to mend our relationship, it became more natural, and now we both use it to bring our relationship more to the center. It really works, and it helps the kids see that mom is human and makes mistakes. And it's ok to make mistakes, as long as we admit them and ask for forgiveness as a means of mending relationships. It has helped me and my daughter to forge a bond that is closer now than it's ever been. She is now 14 and flowering into the bright, beautiful young lady that I knew was inside her. And she has insights that are way deeper than anything I had ever thought she had. It's amazing!

Hope this helps. It has helped me get in touch with my daughter, and I know it can work for others too. And yes, she does know some of my insiders. She takes them at face value, and enjoys spending time coloring with them...my young alters flock to her because she is kind and caring and compassionate toward them.

Don't be too hard on yourself just because someone asks you a question. It might be easy to assume the problem is you, when maybe they are just interpreting things as how they are feeling. Be good to yourself, and give yourself some "me" time. Do you have a comfort box? If not, I can tell you how to make one, and then you can go to it when you are feeling stressed. Just pm me, I would be glad to share that with you.

Jewels