Hi Heymoe and welcome to PC - I'm beginning to think more and more that Facebook and other sites like it, are causing a lot of problems with either bullying or becoming to chummy with the opposite sex. I don't blame you for being upset with him communicating with old flames, especially since he's bad mouthing you - that's a no no.

A person's not supposed to bad mouth their spouse to anyone. If he has problems with you, he needs to deal them out with you, or speak to a counselor. Something is definitely missing if he's enjoying convos with other women. The moment he talks about you, is the moment he opens the door of 'emotional intimacy' with those women. He's obviously getting emotional 'stroking' from them when he should be getting it from you.

I think you both need to sit down and nicely discuss how to get that excitement back between you both. Maybe he can send you a nice email and put some effort into pleasing you and vice a versa. I'm not sure how you're going to trust him again is this regard - maybe leave his Facebook setting completely open. If he deletes them only out of fear, then he'll just end up more secretive. I think what would help, is if you both work on igniting the flames between you and stroke each other emotionally. Ask him if he would be comfortable with you starting up convo's with old flames??