Hi Black Moon, I won't lay out my whole story, because everyone here has heard way too much of it. But I will say my hubs is very much like yours - then add unreasonable anger when I lost my last job (not the first that's ended that way). I'm learning (thru an amazing book on DBT) to be in charge of my thoughts and my actions and not try to change his. This is where the paradox comes in - the less I try to change him, the more positive changes happen with him.

On a practical note, maybe you can start by showing him where he can help you. You talked about finances and your difficulty handling them; is it possible you can sit down with him and work on them together? I've noticed most men like to fix things, and since they can't fix BP, it helps to give them things they can fix. Good luck and come here anytime you need some support!