glad you are talking about it, l'nscared. it does help to get the pain/sadness out. so sorry about your losses. i have had a lot too as has my son. sometimes, when i'm alone and thinking about my father i just talk with him like he was sitting in a chair across from me. not meaning i'm delusional, lol, but for some reason it helps. who knows, maybe the gone can hear? if nothing else it helps me feel better. our fathers, for many of us, were very special. i'm grateful for that too.