sunny  sometimes it takes some help to get a grip. i'm glad you posted about what's going on. i can understand why u feel overwhelmed. at least for now see your present T or get in to to see someone who perhaps can offer you some effective coping skills to get you through all this. sometimes we can't work through the mire by ourselves.
ps. i don't think your prayers will go unnoticed, justme.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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