you are going thru a lot right now. glad u didn't opt out for the bottle cause that would have just magnified your problems. please keep us posted on how you're doing. it may take some time to get through this but you're seeing a pdoc, etc. and talking about what is bothering you. those are good things you are doing in spite of the pressure.
i can totally relate to the sleep problem. on day 10 with little sleep because of it. it makes our being able to deal with things even more difficult cause we're exhausted. hope you rest well. hope i rest well. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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