Hello,
Thanks for the responses. I know my posting was breif but I had to get started somehow. Yes, my current relationship is not very sexually fulfilling, but it has never been. I do believe our relationship is much deeper than that.
As far as when this started happening...
I have always had sexual fantasies about men, but only recently have I allowed myself not to feel guilty about them. I used to torture myself about it. I used guilt to keep me from acting out or being promiscuous AND to repel my stepfather. I am beginning to suspect that I was never really gay - rather I most likely have been bisexual and in denial.
I don't want to cheat on my partner, but I also don't want to be untrue to myself. It is fair to either of us if I am really unhappy in the relationship and stay in it because I don't want to hurt her or am afraid?
I don't know what to do. Sometimes the feelings are very strong. And recently I have not been fulfilled by my partner without fantasizing. Although I know that is not uncommon, it is for me. It makes me uncomfortable that I would have to pretend. And it feels like I'm cheating. I love my partner, but I don't want to continue in a lie. I care about her, but I am not fulfilled by her.
I am very confused by these feelings.