I came from a family with absolutely NO ABUSE physical or verbal when I was growing up, but I grew up as an only child & had absolutely no interest in children, especially babies. I never felt the desire to have children even though I did end up with my daughter. I usually let my husband take care of her as I didn't have the patience to deal with children & found myself getting short with her at times & really hated it when she would act up when we were out. I burried myself in my degree & then in my career for 15 years.....felt that my daughter was really better off without my impatience pushing her since I had so many perfectionist tendencies driving my life at that time.

I think if I had pushed myself to be the mother I didn't want to be in the first place that I could have been very abusive toward her especially since I wasn't wanting a child in the first place. Now I am ever so glad that I have my daughter.....but the distance that existed when she was young isn't exactly something you can force to change in the later years.

We do make our choices & we do make the changes from the childhood we had.....we are not stuck with the patterns we experienced if we WANT to change them....you can be the kind of mother you want to be with your son & don't let anyone tell you differently