((((( horsecab ))))) I wish I had suggestions for you. But I too am woefully alone. Its excruciatingly painful for me. to the point where I sleep to be out of the pain of it all. I wonder if you would be eligible for any 12th step programs. such as al-anon if you have a family member who drinks ( or used to drink and lt might have effected you ). Its kind of a safe way to be with people who seem to bond. But also a safe arena to talk about the struggle with relationships. I actually was in AlAnon and ACOA when I was in my 30s and I felt safer in the world. I will say that it did help me to safely bond to people there.
safe hugs for you