Thanks for the hug. Things are going well now. Though it wasn't mentioned as part of the journey above, I'm now with a BF that I laid the BP card on the table early with. His response? "I've had friends court-ordered to stay on their meds." LOL. Totally accepting. And with the meds... really, it's the best it's ever been. (And to think, I was totally planning to off myself. Then we met in the most unlikely of circumstances. Divine intervention, and I'm not even really... you know?!) Hugs are always good though! right back atcha!

Not entirely clear from reading it, but did you find that you cried over it being BP, or relief at the realization that it wasn't just some kind of personal failing?

Had the same experience as you with the Pdoc. She looked it over, asked some questions --I do remember her asking about how it goes in spans of time as opposed to a constant state of affairs... It was so flippin' obvious (and me bouncing on the couch and talking a mile a minute? Pffft!) it was probably the easiest thing she did all day! Lol. I've got some other things that play into the overall picture, but the BP is solidly at the center.

I'm so glad you found the forums here. It is such a fabulous place. When I read people talking about how much they love and appreciate it, I'm sometimes brought to tears. It's so true. To have people to talk to that really get it, something that can be sooo hard to find IRL.

(Heehee, I also worked alone cleaning houses! Had a sole proprietorship for about... 5 years maybe? Longest run of a year-round job. And one where OCD tendencies--yup, got 'em-- can be a real positive! )