Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca2010
They say it's selfish as the poor child will have no father and I will have to rely on them a lot. Normally they're very supportive and I know they want what's best for me, but I'm finding it hard to explain my point of view and I'm feeling resentment towards them for treating me this way - like I'm a problem that needs solving. They want me to try to find a man, and I know it won't happen.
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Hi, Rebecca, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).
I'm at a loss as to how to be tactful about your superhuman fore-knowledge of the future (whether or not you'll "find" a man) but I have the story of my work when I was in my mid-20's and explained I wasn't trying to "find" a husband because he wasn't lost, and my supervisor chiming in with, "Well, if he isn't lost then he's probably running like hell!"
I didn't "find" a man until I was 35 and didn't marry until I was 39. Who knew?
But the first part, about your having to rely on them a lot? Is that true? Do you have the job that can support two and the time to raise a child in addition? Because, if they would have to contribute
their money and time, that is asking an enormous amount of other adults when one is an adult and they do get a say as to how their time and money/work (work is paid for in money) gets spent and "assuming" someone else should just contribute to one's life because we want something, is ignorant thinking (and I don't mean ignorant in a pejorative way, I just mean uneducated) if not selfish.
If you want to help your family come around to your way of "thinking" then you have to show them your plan, and you have to have a plan, it's your and your family's and an unborn child's future life you're going to affect. So far, your family's argument sounds better than yours to me, because I haven't heard anything substantive/plan-like in yours?