Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
If you have a therapist he/she could help you sort this out. I think you need to determine if the problems are coming from you - for example it could be your perception from how you see things due to your depression or the baggage form your upbringing/past relationships. Or they could be from his issues and your issues together.
I think making a list would be helpful - a pros and cons list of staying together vs living alone. For example a partner could be great but if the other partner is deeply depressed, they can't appreciate those good qualities and everything 'seems' awful. I understand how it all seems so confusing. If a partner have bad qualities like substance abuse or they're verbally/physically abusive, then the decision is simple. Wait for when you're not having a bad day and try to make the list realistic rather than emotional
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Hi lynn P.,
Your response was extremely helpful. Thank you!
I worked with a therapist for 5 years on personal issues as well as my marriage. Your answer helped me see that the reason I am confused is that I am recovering from depression, and I don't feel good enough to work. My thinking needs to become more clear and I need to work to support myself.
This statement from your response is profound: "If a partner have bad qualities like substance abuse or they're verbally/physically abusive, then the decision is simple." You are correct!
Caramel