Beth is right, it's really important to find the right meds. I also think some of the things you mention can definitely be improved with therapy.
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making it out of a 12 year relationship and still learning to make it on my own for the first time in my life without children it has been super scary
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This is a major life event! Taking that step into making it on your own is a huge challenge, even for "normal" people!
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I want to make friends but don't know where to start.
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You can start right here.
I'm still working towards getting the right combo of meds and I'm like you - I avoid social situations and my only real friends were my husband, sister and kids. I have found friends here, and it doesn't matter if we're all spread out across the globe - these are
real friends, people you can count on to comfort you when you're in pain, to be honest with you no matter how much it might sting, to encourage you when you're afraid, to share their stories with you so you don't feel so alone, to be there for you every single day.
I'm glad you're here and I would be happy to get to know you and be your friend.
__________________
"Better not look down, if you want to keep on flying
Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead
Better not look back, or you might just wind up crying
You can keep it moving, if you don't look down" - B.B. King
Come join the
BP Social Society on Psych Central Everyone is Welcome!