Interesting post, Perna. At first I didn't think I agreed with you. But in retrospect, I see your point. Krusty13, it is clear from your posts that your mom has some unhealthy, destructive behaviors. But I see Perna's point in that you probably are not going to be able to fix them. This has been a hard one for me too. I had really wanted my dad to come with me to therapy. But my T did not jump right on board with this idea. Not that she was set against it. But she kept asking me to think very carefully about exactly what it was that I wanted to accomplish. Because, as she pointed out, what if my dad simply refused to hear anything I was saying?
On the flip side, there may indeed be a positive outcome to meeting with our parents/families in the presence of a therapist. But - Perna am I hearing you right (?) maybe holding this out as an ultimatum may skirt the issue that we are all simply responsible for ourselves and cannot make someone change in the event that they feel no need to. I'm sorry to chime in like this. Please leave this post if it is helpful to no one. I am simply dealing with issues that are quite similar and thought it might open up this tough discussion.