SWB,
You wrote,[...could not sleep...pain...mind working overtime...took another sleeping pill...then another half...later another half...2 Valium...right before...kind of crazy...I may OD on this (expletive)...].
There is a continuing body of research that shows that the drugs that you are taking have the potential for adverse effects upon the user that are consistant with what you are describing in your posts here. The amount of the benzodiazepines that you list that you took could be precipitating what you are describing as to what you are writing about here.
I was wondering if your treating psychiatrist, or doctor, or other mental-health practitioner, is advocating that you take the amount of drugs that you list here. I could offer you support from my perspective if you would like, but if my support to you would be to ask you to find out if the drugs that you are taking are causing the problems that you describe, could you consider my perspective along with other's perspectives?
Lou