My T finally got back to me today. He said my email went into his junk mail folder and he almost never checks it. He agrees that we shouldn't change my meds at all since they've solved my depression so well, but wants to talk about the weight issue when I see him next week.

I made cookies today. I ate one and instantly felt fat. I exercised twice as hard as usual to work it off, but I think there are too many calories to have been successful. I weighed 101.6 this morning and I blame it on a milkshake my partner made for me that had protein powder in it that's meant to help athletes build mass for sports. I only drank half of it and had the other half this morning. I'm trying to comply with people's concern by eating butter and cheese and cream (I'm vegetarian), but the more I eat, the worse I feel about myself.

I think this thread probably belongs in the eating disorders forum. I'm kind of scared to post on another forum. It sucks. My bipolar depression is cured and then I realize I have an eating disorder. Will I ever have long term peace? Mad at my freaking brain.