My niece will be 16 next month and will be going off to college in a couple years. To this day she has never smoked a cigarette, smoked pot, had even the smallest sip of alcohol, done anything other than kissed a boy etc...

When I was 16 I had done all of this. Not that I'm proud of it but when I went to college, all my "goody" friends went nuts and I was the one studying because I had already had experience in all that stuff.

I have tried talking to her that it's okay to have a sip of wine if you want and it's okay to try some things as long as you don't take it too far and understand the risks etc... but she goes on and on about how she wont do it. I'm so worried that when she goes off to college she will either a) feel extremely awkward, out of the loop, or just hate it or b) will go overboard with experimentation and just take it too far from being away from family finally.

Her dad, my brother-in-law, is a cop and very overprotective and I feel like it is really messing with her. Don't get me wrong, I don't want her getting wasted or stoned all day, but I feel like it's healthy to at least understand what you're getting yourself into before you submerge yourself in a community which revolves (largely) around these things, especially as freshmen. How can I get her to loosen up so she doesn't go into college a nervous wreck and possibly take things too far?