Hello everyone!

I am currently on short-term disability from work due to major depression and "coincidentally" found this forum today and even more "coincidentally" this particular thread! Thank you so much, Ben, for beginning it!

My chosen profession is within the mental health field. I was very open with my bosses about my illness at the jobs I worked at and never had any problem at all. Also never needed to take any long-term time off as my major episodes are generally far apart.

I left my last position within mental health for family/personal reasons - took a sabbatical - and then had to get a "job-job" to survive economically. That landed me in a Fortune 500 company "cubicle land" - an industry and job I would NEVER have chosen, but paid the bills. I have been there almost 2 years. It is extremely fast-paced, chaotic and the most "cherished" word there is "multi-tasking." I'm a very organized, detail-oriented person so you can understand the pressure there. I could tell I was starting to sink into depression and ~should~ have notified my pdoc then so hopefully we could have caught it in time. But I didn't think of that then and ~wham~ I was hit with the first really severe episode I've had in many, many years.

In the midst of a full-blown depression it is hard to think clearly to begin with, but I kept thinking there HAD to be some recourse I could take besides quitting. (I had used up all my paid time off days ) Then I remembered the FMLA, contacted the appropriate people within the company. I was directed into short-term disability and went from there. (There were some rough spots as the week I became ill my immediate boss was off work sick for the week; HIS boss who we contacted was leaving for another job the following week. I assumed she would fill my boss in fully on my situation, but apparently she only provided "bits and pieces" according to my boss. To make things worse, my pdoc was on vacation that week also. I got an emergency appointment with his colleague who upped one of my meds but said since I had been a patient of my Dr. for so long, she did not feel comfortable completing the forms to take me out of work.

Finally it all did come together. My boss has been good about it. He is a very young boss in his first supervisory capacity. (In fact he and I began at the company at the same time in the same position.)

I did not realize until after I had done so that I did not have to tell what my disability is to my boss - just to home office who deals with that. I'm not sure how my boss will view me now or if this will endanger my job in any way. I have been a very good employee and never written-up, so it shouldn't.

I have been out 4 weeks now. Dr. has tried various meds, new ones, increasing dosages on current ones, various anti-anxiety meds, various sleeping pills. At one point I was feeling like a zombie so I cut back on the ones I knew made me feel like that. The pressure of not having to deal with work right now was lifted, but I am still having the "morning terrors", a lot of anxiety and apathy. I PRAY my pdoc will see that I need some more time off to heal.

I am so very glad to have found this forum and look forward to interacting with you all.