Thanks, gg. I've decided to wrap this up in a box and put it on a high shelf for the time being.

They didn't show up for the other family birthday party yesterday. Like my one wonderful DIL said, they hurt Lucas' feelings because he knows they weren't there, but Lucas has enough people that love him and won't suffer for long from their absense but who they REALLY hurt was themselves and their children. There's nothing any of us can do about it nor can we change things, so... We all move on with our own lives.

Being with that family, seeing the creative genius that my oldest son is, being able to look back and see how the positive things from his childhood have affected him in such a good way was more than I could have hoped for. It's time I realize that I did the best I could with my kids when they were growing up and my best was actually quite good. Now that they are adults, it's up to THEM how they use their experiences. I'm not responsible for their actions NOW. All I can do is pray for them and keep the doors to my heart and home open so when and if they're ready to clear those cobwebs from their heads and hearts, Mom will still be here for them. But for the time being, while Jerry and I heal, we will be unavailable to them. We plan to go away for the Thanksgiving holidays. OUR life goes on...

Thank you for your response. Even though you don't have a solution, I know you care and it helps!