today is a pretty hard day for me. not for any particular reason but that is what makes it so hard. i can't seem to control the 180 degree internal flip flop up and down my emotions inside go and it takes all of me to control it. my insurance i have now doesnt cover a therapy or psychiatric visit until i met an astronomical deductible so until open enrollment next year i have to do my best to make it through. i feel so alone so worthless so down about myself for no good reason at all. i feel lost and hopeless.