I don't know anything about you, but when I read your post, I immediately thought of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (dbt).

Its intent is to harmonize the reasonable and emotional parts of yourself to help you make better decisions. It's often prescribed as a form of therapy for those with borderline personality disorder, but is useful really for anyone. It's done in a group setting with a professional facilitator.

If you are seeing a therapist, you might want to ask about this. It sounds like a good way to approach the exact feelings you are experiencing.