the one thing i will not let me do anymore is ,,,, beat myself up~! no matter how good the reason, no matter how enticing the excuse, no no no beating up Gus~!~! and no beating up other people too. So,, go ahead, feel self pity, feel how it saps your strength, smell how sour it is, watch other people run from it as from a skunk~! then look again at self pity, is it a good friend, or is it someone you can walk away from, say good bye to? approaching is the way to coming to terms, not running away~! Gus