Hi sunny2009. I don't want to say that I know how you feel, but I really believe I kind of do. From what you wrote, we have many similarities. I was in a vicious circle with work demands, had completely neglected and damaged any other relationships I had, and my life fell apart. I did not know how to manage the extreme anxiety, create boundaries or cut myself some slack. I always felt deficient. My coping mechanisms got weaker and weaker and then I crumbled. I am still recovering, but am making some progress little by little. Your anxiety about having someone move in is totally understandable. That's a big change, and if you're not comfortable socially, it would be anxiety-provoking.

I hope your therapist helps you by sharing methods to stop the escalation of the negative feelings, because it sounds like you start to have the feelings and they feed on themselves and start to overwhelm and you can't cut them off. That's how I have been. I recently started dialectical behavior therapy (dbt) and am amazed by the skills I am learning. But it's definitely a work in progress....

I just wanted to share some empathy...hang in there.