I'm sorry your journey is so hard but I really hear such determination in your words and I have every confidence that you will get through this. Your commitment to your recovery is very evident. Well done for all the steps you have taken so far! You have really persevered and I'm certain your efforts will pay off. I hope you're able to get started on a good medication and treatment program soon. Well done for hanging in there and doing what needs to be done!! I really hope things begin to get easier before too much longer.