Quote:
Originally Posted by WendyAussie
Ah Man that sucks. I think it IS a huge thing to have dumped on you, especially as you have serious vulnerabilities yourself. This would be right on the top of the therapist's Life Stress Indicators. This may sound tough, but I would (and I really mean I would, as I am this tough) contact his family and draw some boundary, some line in the sand so that you protect your own physical and mental health. Maybe tell them you can only visit him for a half an hour a day, or every second day, and that you can't be responsible for anything else to do with him. If you don't they'll keep calling on you to do stuff. You also fully have the right to withdraw completely from the situation.
I am both an alcoholic sober in AA 11 years and a Beeper and other illnesses. I know even just as an alcoholic alone, I can't allow myself to be dragged down by people who won't get sober, and where my life is at stake. And the same with mental illness - if others won't seek treatment, I can't allow them to undo all my hard work and again risk my life.
I know I'm tough on this stuff but one thing I've learned through AA and therapy is that I need to be assertive in my life and to have boundaries otherwise people will walk all over me.
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Boundaries, check! I am in therapy and utilize Alanon (due to my last eight years) in addition to my NAMI and DBSA groups. I REALLY AM working my recovery, each day, every day. I know how hard it is for me just with BP1 and anxiety disorder to get better. What a nightmare scenario dual diagnosis is. You can't get an accurate diagnosis until you have been clean and sober for six month yet the mood disorder and anxiety dictates that you self-medicate! What a vicious cycle to break! If James survives this hospitalization, I really do not have much hope for him making an honest attempt to recover. Its just too hard for him to live in his own skin.
I am just trying to do the next right thing in front of me and not get too wrapped around the axle with plans on how I will manage this tomorrow or the day after. To be honest, just dealing with the hear and now is just a bit more than I can handle. Anger, Fear, Hurt, Betrayal, Victimized and then here online for my efforts to not whine and just be nice.... publicly criticized and humiliated. I feel more alone now than ever.